Just Give Him the Whale!

We work extra hard to get FW up to speed on the things "typical" kids his age are doing--this summer he had swimming lessons and got his first real bike, for example--but we certainly don't stand in the way of his more Aspergerific pursuits. Sometimes it's hard to know where to draw the line, though. Will FW be bullied if his hobbies are chess and flowers, or could things like that actually end up helping him socially in some ways?

We're a pro-hobby family, and my opinion is this: the more passions you have, the happier your life will be. Even if you don't have a ton of friends, you'll always have something to do, always have something to enjoy. So if FW wants to collect slime molds, hey, let's take him out to the brush pile and let him dig around. If he wants to make model rockets, let's look for a local rocket club. If we think he'd like chess, let's give him some basic lessons and see where it goes. And if he really wants to be able to pronounce all the names of the prehistoric creatures that interest him, maybe he should study a little Latin. As long as we balance all this out with a minimal understanding of sports and some friend-making skills, I think he'll be fine.

The encouragement of the "special interest" is considered by some to be a bad thing. Some parents of Aspergian kids think the "special interest" can get out of control and end up in a danger zone (like if the kid becomes interested in Nazis or weapons). But I agree with Temple Grandin, who believes parents and teachers can use the special interest to direct and help the child. If the kid only wants to talk about, say, Thomas the Tank Engine, the parents can acknowledge and support the Thomas stuff, but also introduce the child to the history of real trains, how trains are built, etc., and gradually move into other forms of transport--planes, cars, covered wagons--until the child has a broader interest. So it's not that the Thomas interest has to be discouraged in any way, just that the Aspergian child's interest can be a jumping off point for a whole world of wonder. The amazing Paula Kluth, an expert on autism and the inclusive classroom, has some smart ideas about the using the "special interest" to help kids with autism in her book Just Give Him the Whale.